Dear Mom in Survival Mode...

Dear mom in survival mode,
When did life make you feel like it was competition? That being a mom was a competition?
When did you start putting other people down in order to make yourself feel better?
Yes mom, who's name I have decided to hide in the below photo, I am writing this letter to you. 
Because I am you. I'm a mother. In survival mode.

You don't know me. Or my story. 
You saw a photo that was shared from my blog and passed judgement. 
You're not the first. You'd be surprised how many negative comments I see. 
But yours was different. Yours conveyed hurt.  
Trust me. I am not bored. I am simply a mom, who loves her daughter.
You see, my daughter (Little Miss) has food allergies and is on a special diet. 
She can't eat school provided food. Often is left out of treats, parties, and school events for her own safety. 
If she eats a peanut, she will die. If she eats gluten, she will get very sick.
For the past two months, one of her very best friends has been building her up about an upcoming birthday party at her house. That my daughter would be invited. She has been counting down the days and checking the mail for her very special invitation.
Her friend broke the news to her just last week that her mother did not want my daughter invited. 
Why? Because of her allergies. 
You weren't here. You weren't here when my daughter cried on my shoulder. You weren't here when she asked why God gave her allergies. And you weren't here to mend her broken heart.
I'm a mom in survival mode, just like you.
You don't know that I'm a survivor of domestic violence. That my story would bring chills to your bones. That no woman or child should have to go through what Little Miss and I did.
You don't know that I went through a period without heat. That I would go without food so I could feed and take care of my daughter instead. 
You don't know that I work full time and have worked a part time job, in conjunction to that, for most of the last eight years to make ends meet. 
I'm a mom in survival mode, just like you.
We all choose to spend our time differently. Some moms love to read, knit, or quilt. Some parents have a favorite TV show and can kill a good 2-3 hours per night on the couch. Some moms are volunteers - giving up countless weekend and evening hours at the church or school functions to help others. 
Would you call those volunteers "bored overachievers"? Didn't think so.
My daughter is my world.  Yes, I spend 10-15 minutes a night making her fun lunches. 
Why? So she can feel loved. For that moment when she opens her lunch, she doesn't feel left out or that she's missing out on what the other kids have. Instead, they love seeing what creative things her Mama has made for her and often wish they had it too. And you know what? That makes her proud. 
So if for that brief period of her school day, I can fill her heart and make up for those days she gets left out or not invited to a party, then I will gladly give up a few minutes of my evening to make them for her.
And I will gladly take the time to blog about them so that other parents can get inspired to help their children with food allergies and special diets feel proud too.
Dear mom in survival mode, 
I'm not out here trying to make you feel like you're not a good mom. To make you "look bad", as you said.
Because I am you. I'm a mother. In survival mode. 
Maybe you need to be told it more often: That you're doing a great job. Told that you are loved. That you work hard and maybe you need some understanding.
I understand. 
We mothers are all doing great things. Our babies are growing. They're healthy. They're loved. 
You're raising little achievers.
There are days you want to pull your hair out, throw in the towel, take a vacation, or shut the door to the bathroom without a knock calling your name on the other side.
We mothers understand.
I'm not against you. In fact, I want to help you.
I've been blessed to be a blessing. My life is filled with gratitude for all I've overcome and the fact that I'm even still alive.
Dear mom in survival mode, 
If you need help, please reach out to me. Tell me how I can help you. Maybe it's just a kind word. Maybe it's a much needed haircut. Maybe it's a bill that won't go away.
How about we work together instead of against one another?
Spreading joy and love, instead of passing judgement. Being blessings to other moms and dads in need.
Uplifting one another for our successes and being a shoulder during our trials.
I think the world could use a lot more of that... we could start something special.
Because we're both moms. In survival mode.
~Keeley